"Divorce And Emotional Abuse , Sixes wonder, I get anxious and then look for reasons why I'm anxious"

The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul
by Sandra Maitri

Sandra Maitri's "The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram" is, without doubt, the most insightful and meaningful book on the nine temperaments, but caution potential readers that this is not a "beach read" and is best suited as reading for those who are seriously ready to take a deeper look at their own psycho-spiritual essence and soul. This is not a pop-psychology "personality typing" book, but rather a valuable guide for people on their journey of self-discovery, transformation and self-realization.

The book DOES touch on the Nine Temperaments of the enneagram in the personality type" context most people know it, and it covers the psychological aspects of the different types. The majority of "The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram" is dedicated to a thorough discussion of each of the nine temperaments, examining the way each has "lost touch" with its essence or "Holy Idea;" describing the psychological and environmental circumstances for these losses, and then offering guidance on how to recover the part of the self that has been lost.

The term "sprituality" by no means makes this a "religious" book. Instead, it is a book about understanding and healing our souls, regardless of religious orientation.

Would You Like Help to Determine your Temperament?

     

Divorce And Emotional Abuse , Sixes wonder, I get anxious and then look for reasons why I'm anxious

To print a copy of an Free Enneagram ebook

The study of the Nine Temperaments is called the Enneagram and is described in the free ebook listed above. The Enneagram types (Temperaments) are not made up of lists of character traits, but are founded in a person's core values. Each Temperament represents what that person considers something very important to their life such as power, security, harmony, knowledge, fulfillment, i.e.

Your Temperament enables you to make a valuable contributions to your life; but it also causes you to neglect other values, creating a psychological ‘blind spot” for you.

This is why, if you:

“KEEP DOING WHAT YOU BEEN DOING, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO GET WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING.”

Index of Articles about the Loyal Skeptic


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Enough Is Enough: Divorce and Emotional Abuse   
spatty

Men and women deal with a lot of abuse in the family. But unlike any form of domestic violence, emotional abuse is the strongest yet the most subtle of all. It is too subtle that sometimes even the abused partner does not notice it. This kind of abuse leaves no identifying physical evidence, yet leaves a lasting mark to the abused person's self esteem.

Emotional Abuse

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Emotional abuse may be described as subjecting a partner consistently to insult, embarrassment, scorn, shame or hurt. Emotional abuse may manifest itself in many different forms: from something as simple as mocking a partner for their beliefs or faith, or telling them nobody wants or likes them; to something as demeaning as telling a partner that he's worthless; to the extent of threatening to hurt a partner or their family. People subjected to emotional abuse are constantly accused and criticized, and often faulted for every little thing they do.

Domineering partners use emotional abuse to control, degrade, humiliate, or punish a partner to submission. This is comparable to how prison guards manipulate prisoners of war being cooperative. They use isolation to cut off any form of external support from friends and family, making victims dependent to the abusers. Abusers also use threats and intimidation to force a partner to submission. Abusive partners use negative criticism to demean a partner about his appearance, actions, and abilities. Victims of emotional abuse often manifest the following symptoms:

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.Depression.

.Fearfulness

.Withdrawal.

.Social isolation

.Suicidal tendency

.Feeling of guilt and shame

Because partners are constantly exposed to ideas of being worthless, they start believing the lies over time and tend to develop low self-esteem and eventually develop the symptoms mentioned above.

Abusive relationships usually cycle around 4 phases:

Phase 1, tension building. This is when the tension begins,communication starts falling apart,and the victim feels an intense need to please or placate an abuser.

Phase 2, incident. This is when the actual verbal and emotional abuse happens. The abuser starts getting angry, blaming and arguing with the victim. The abuser threatens and intimidates the victim.

Phase 3, reconciliation. This is when the abuser apologizes for what he's said and done. He passes the blame onto the victim, denying any abuse he's done, or says that what he did wasn't that bad as the victim thinks it is.

Phase 4, calm. This is when the incident is forgotten. The relationship is at peace, and no abuse is being done to the victim.

Resolving emotional abuse

In a relationship, both partners should learn to say when enough is enough. An abusive environment is never good for both parties, especially for the children. Children who grew up in an abusive domestic environment tend to carry this behaviour when he has his own family. As parents, it is necessary to work on resolving emotional abuse issues as early as possible before it destroys the entire family. Of course it is natural for an emotionally abusive partner to decline to undergo counseling, denying the fact the he is subjecting his partner to such abuse. However, for the good of everybody in the family, certain steps must be taken to stop the abuse.

.Counseling. Both partners need to talk to a trusted therapist or counsellor to discuss the origin or the reason behind the abusive behaviour.Counseling also helps regain trust, confidence, and self-esteem.

.Trial separation. Some time away from each other to understand the importance of each partner in the relationship is sometimes helpful to make the abuser aware of his mistakes.

.Divorce. If an abusive partner refuses to acknowledge the fact that he is manipulating and taking advantage of his partner,it is time to let go of the relationship and start life anew.

Love is supposed to help us grow, not trap us like a prisoner. If you feel like you're being boxed in by an abusive partner, speak up. It is never ok to let yourself be subjected to so much abuse. It is not advisable to immediately jump into a divorce, try to work it out first. With the right help, you might still be able to rebuild a happy married life.

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The Just Wait Teen Program

The teenagers of the Just Wait Teen™ program  are exposed to the information and research concerning their Happiness, their Temperaments, their Talents, their Attributes, their Gifts and how to maintain long term relationships. The Just Wait Teen™ program  is life enhancing program, not a substance rehabilitation program. Although its' objective is to give the teens tools and understandings to reach 21 years - substance free.

This Program was developed by the Just Wait Foundation a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit corporation to prevent drug, alcohol, and tobacco problems among teenagers. The Foundation provides one-year scholarships (two semesters) at a Community College or $1000 award to teens that completes the 4 year Just Wait Teen™ Positive Youth Development Program, obtains a GED, or graduates from high school - alcohol, tobacco, and drug free. The Just Wait Foundation has arranged to use of 80 acres to raise fruit and vegetables to finance the scholarships

We offer free training for any person or group that wants to start this program in their community.

Contact Us    Copyright 2009  - 2010 & Developed by  Just Wait Teens

Additional Resources

The overall orientation of Sandra Maitri group will be the shifting over time of one's identity and sense of self from the personality or ego to our deeper and ultimate nature — Being; and just as importantly, the integration of this experiential knowledge such that one's everyday life becomes a lived and fulfilling expression of that deeper nature. The confluence in recent decades of the streams of psychological and spiritual wisdom afford a wide range of unprecedented avenues of access to spiritual development. This confluence will be an important part of the orientation of this group.

Did you know?

The Power of Nine is your Key to Happiness and Joy.

There are nine Temperaments. Fifty percent (50%) of your happiness is determined by your Temperament.

Understanding your Temperament Type allows you to work with it and increase your own happiness. The ways individual people inherently view the world/themselves and process information are not the same but do tend to group in different clumps.

Pick the person about that you admire, like and think you are like and click on that number below and listen to the Video.

One way to view this distribution is as nine basic Temperaments Types. They all need different experiences to be really happy.

What do they really want?

Temperament One examples are: Hillary Clinton, Tom Brokaw, Martha Stewart, Al Gore, and Tony Randall. These people want to be good. They have high ideals and value and are attracted to situations where those ideals are met. They want to realize all their potential and help others actualize theirs. They envision making the world a better place to live.

Temperament Two examples are: Bill Cosby, Alan Alda, Nancy Reagan, Dolly Parton, and Pat Boone. These people want to know they are loving. They want to nurture others and foster relationships. They value and are attracted to love. They envision making the world a more loving place to live.

Temperament Three examples are: Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and Bill Clinton. These people are attracted to and value productivity, industry, and competence. They envision making the world more productive, organized, efficient, and smooth running. They see the universe as chaos and want to really make it a cosmos, a harmonious and orderly system.

Would You Like Help to Determine your Temperament?

Temperament Four examples are: Michael Jackson, Johnny Depp, Nicolas Cage, Neil Diamond, and Angelina Jolie. These people want to be unique individuals with lots of originality. They enjoy putting their personal touch on everything in which they are involved. They also value beauty and want to make the world a more beautiful place to live.

Temperament Five examples are: Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Howard Hughes, George Lucas, and Karl Marx. These people long for wisdom, understanding, knowledge, truth. They want to make the world a more enlightened place by discovering what is real and true and making it more intelligible to others.

Temperament Six examples are: Helen Palmer, Michael Moore, Tom Hanks, Rush Limbaugh, Richard Nixon, and Mel Gibson. These people want to make the world a safer, more secure, more reliable, more trustworthy place to live and they will question anyone’s authority in their effort to do so. They value loyalty in themselves and others and stand by their commitments.

Would You Like Help to Determine your Temperament?

Temperament Seven examples are: Robin Williams, Steve Jobs, Tom Hanks, Anthony Quinn, Richard Branson and Terry Bradshaw. These people want to enjoy life and experience all its possibilities. They value joy and variety. They envision making the world a more delightful place to live.

Temperament Eight examples are: Martin Luther King, Jr., FDR, Sean Connery, Donald Trump, and John Wayne. These people want to live life fully and freely. They are attracted to, appreciate, and effectively use power. They envision using their strength to influence others and bring about a more just world where power and resources are equitably distributed.

Temperament Nine examples are: Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan, Abraham Lincoln, Jimmy Stewart, Carl Jung, and Dwight Eisenhower. These people want to feel at one with others and at home in the universe. They value peace, harmony, and unity. They envision making the world a more harmonious, ecumenical, and comfortable place to live for everyone.

Would You Like Help to Determine your Temperament?

Why do we use numbers?

Names such as: Sixes are the: Loyal Person, Devil's Advocate, Faithful Skeptic, Guardian, or True Believer are commonly used to decribed the Temperaments Types. We use numbers instead of any names.

We use numbers to designate each of the Temperament Types because numbers are value neutral. They imply the whole range of attitudes and behaviors of each Temperament without specifying anything either positive or negative.

The numerical ranking of the Types is not significant. A larger number is no better than a smaller number.

No Temperament Type is inherently better or worse than any other. While all the Temperament Types have unique assets and liabilities, some Types are often more desirable than others in our society. You may not be happy with your particular Type. You may feel that your Type is “limited" in some way. As you learn more about all the Types, you will see that just as each has unique capacities, each has different “limits.”

People do not change from one basic Temperament Type to another. Some Types are more valued in our society than others; it is because of the qualities that society rewards, not because of any superior value of those Types.

The descriptions of the Temperament Types apply equally to males and females, since no Type is inherently masculine or feminine. Not everything in the description of your basic Type will apply to you all the time because you fluctuate constantly.

Why aren’t all people with a given Temperament Type successful?

You probably know a bunch of people with the same Temperament Type. Why are some successful and others are not. Why the difference? The difference is Emotional Intelligence. We use Emotional Quotient. (EQ) as a shorthand to describe Emotional Intelligence.

A person may have a high IQ. They did well in school, maybe have a college diploma or even an advanced degree. They may even be in MENSA, the select high-IQ club and still fail in business and relationships. Why are they not successful?

The answer:

Your IQ determines 20 % of your success, which leaves 80% to other forces. This is stated by Daniel Goleman the Author of “Emotional Intelligence.”

A person with a high IQ does not mean they know how to manage their thoughts and feelings any more successfully than a person with a low IQ. Success requires taking the emotional data, making sense of that data, and integrating it into your decision-making. People with higher EQ does this better.

By increasing your EQ you can use your thoughts and emotions of your Temperament Type to make the best possible decisions. Increased EQ help you get optimal results from your relationships with yourself and others.

EQ challenges the conventional belief that emotions are in the way of good decisions. By increasing your EQ it is possible to learn how to use your emotions to make better decisions. By increasing your EQ, it is possible to increase your wisdom and energy required for high performance. The Increasing your EQ is a teachable life skill. If people get better at these life skills, everyone benefits: The brain doesn't distinguish between being a more empathetic manager and a more empathetic father

The Just Wait Teen Program

The teenagers of the Just Wait Teen™ program  are exposed to the information and research concerning their Happiness, their Temperaments, their Talents, their Attributes, their Gifts and how to maintain long term relationships. The Just Wait Teen™ program  is life enhancing program, not a substance rehabilitation program. Although its' objective is to give the teens tools and understandings to reach 21 years - substance free.

This Program was developed by the Just Wait Foundation a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit corporation to prevent drug, alcohol, and tobacco problems among teenagers. The Foundation provides one-year scholarships (two semesters) at a Community College or $1000 award to teens that completes the 4 year Just Wait Teen™ Positive Youth Development Program, obtains a GED, or graduates from high school - alcohol, tobacco, and drug free. The Just Wait Foundation has arranged to use of 80 acres to raise fruit and vegetables to finance the scholarships

We offer free training for any person or group that wants to start this program in their community.

Contact Us    Copyright 2009  - 2010 & Developed by  Just Wait Teens

Index of More Articles about Leadership

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Emotional Intelligence: Another Key Factor To Success by fris

Everybody wants to be successful in life. But what is success? How do you go about being successful? Is success only for people who have high IQ? How come there are intelligent people who are not successful...