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by Daniel Goleman
Dr. Goleman did an excellent job with his second book on Emotional Intelligence because he gives more detail on how to correct the lack of Emotional Intelligence in the business and professional world.
On page 26 he tells us how to do a check up on our missing competences for emotional intelligence( both personal and social competencies) and he also mentions that there must be a continious follow up on this program to achieve a lasting effect over the change of our un-wanted bad habits and he alos mentions the guidelines for emotional competence TRAINING which is very helpful in the seminars to train management executives.
Dr. Goleman explains also that it takes months to be able to modify our personality, so that some people will not dispair because they can not get an overnight change, it takes time, perseverance and practice to become a proficient and capable executive with good emotional intelligence. Dr. Goleman also explains the effect that stress has on CONTROL and how it affects mistakes, memory and health and overall management.
In other words Dr. Goleman is helping everybody to modify their personalities to be able to produce more with less stress and wear (or exhaustion).
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Index of More Articles about Leadership
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The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment
In above video you will see kids participating in the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment must be the most astounding psychological study ever performed, or at any rate ranking right up there with some of the experiments done by Stanley Milgram. Who would ever guess that a brief observation of a four-year old alone with a marshmallow would be an excellent predictor of college entrance exam scores — twice as good a predictor as IQ test scores? In one of the most amazing developmental studies ever conducted, Walter Michel of Stanford created a simple test of the ability of four year old children to control impulses and delay gratification. Children were taken one at a time into a room with a one-way mirror. They were shown a marshmallow. The experimenter told them he had to leave and that they could have the marshmallow right then, but if they waited for the experimenter to return from an errand, they could have two marshmallows. One marshmallow was left on a table in front of them. Some children grabbed the available marshmallow within seconds of the experimenter leaving. Others waited up to twenty minutes for the experimenter to return. In a follow-up study (Shoda, Mischel, & Peake, 1990), children were tested at 18 years of age and comparisons were made between the third of the children who grabbed the marshmallow (the "impulsive") and the third who delayed gratification in order to receive the enhanced reward ("impulse controlled"). The third of the children who were most impulsive at four years of age scored an average of 524 verbal and 528 math. The impulse controlled students who scored 610 verbal and 652 math! This astounding 210 point total score difference on the SAT was predicted on the basis of a single observation at four years of age! The 210 point difference is as large as the average differences between that of economically advantaged versus disadvantaged children and is larger than the difference between children from families with graduate degrees versus children whose parents did not finish high school! At four years of age gobbling a marshmallow now v. waiting for two later is twice as good a predictor of later SAT scores than is IQ. Poor impulse control is also a better predictor of later delinquency than is IQ. Obviously there's a strong correlation between IQ and impulse control. People who do well in life have lots of both, and vice versa for those who don't do well. Sociologists have regaled us for years with their theories as to the causes of poverty: lack of education, structural causes, racism. But it seems that, at least where opportunity exists, the reason for differences in income and wealth is that the poor have high impulsivity.
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Are You Maximizing What You Got
"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering." Saint Augustine
What you've got + What you need = What you want .... Right? Well... maybe or maybe not. We often strive to fill that gap between what we've got and what we want focusing our attention on weaknesses. In fact, I often have suggested this strategy myself in coaching sessions. Yet recently I have been investigating another point of view. Are we spending so much time and energy trying to get up to speed where we are lacking that we miss the opportunity to leverage and maximize the strengths, talents, and resources that we already have?
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Even our brain seems to develop to our strengths and talents. In Now, Discover Your Strengths, a book based on the Gallup study of over 2 million people, by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. the authors explain how the brain's threads are woven. To summarize, they say that your "synapses create your talents". The synapse is a connection between your brain cells, called neurons. Your brain grows quickly and by age 3 you have about a hundred billion neurons with fifteen thousand synaptic connections. The odd part is by your 16th birthday you have lost 1/2 of your connections. Don't be concerned though, the authors explain "your smartness and your effectiveness depend on how well you capitalize on your strongest connections. Nature forces you to shut down billions of connections precisely so that you can be freed up to exploit the ones remaining."
John Bruer describes in the book The Myth of the First Three Years, nature has developed three ways for you to learn as an adult. 1) Continue to strengthen your existing synaptic connections (as happens when you perfect a talent with relevant skills and knowledge), 2) keep losing more of your extraneous connections (as also happens when you focus on your talents and allow other connections to deteriorate), or 3) develop a few more synaptic connections (which expends the most energy). With regard to skills, the authors of Now, Discover Your Strengths suggest "If you learn a skill, it will help you get a little better, but it will not cover for a lack of talent. Instead, as you build your strengths, skills will actually prove most valuable when they are combined with genuine talent."
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So are you ready to get acquainted with your strengths? Here are a couple sources to help you with this: The VIA Signature Strengths Survey by Martin E.P. Seligman is available for free at www.authentichappiness.com along with a number of other assessments including one for children. This survey provides you with your top 5 signature themes.
You may be surprised by what shows up as your strengths even though it makes sense once you think about it. Life will begin to flow when you are using your strengths which is one reason why we don't recognize them. To us our strengths seem like no big deal, or we think everyone thinks that way. So I ask you: Does this mean you shouldn't bother learning a new skill? Not at all. But if the new skill is in line with one of your strengths you will find it easier to leverage and maximize that skill which is built on a strength. Finally, how can you take what you've got and maximize it to make a positive impact in your life and the life of others? Starting Now! Copyright 2004 © Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved. Beth Tabak is a Business & Life Coach, columnist, & owner of Starting Now. She is 100% committed to coaching small business owners and professionals to grow beyond limits, and create the business and life they keep thinking about. Set your goals, pick up a task list, take a class, discover a new resource all complimentary at http://www.startingnowcoaching.com .
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